Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
wow bdsm is so cute
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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