I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
