She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
