Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
