I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I don't think brook has ever known best
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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