smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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