he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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