sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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