She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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