I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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