12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
