I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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