is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
