I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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