it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
