I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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