Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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