tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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