Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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