found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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