I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
sex in a hospital.. check
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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