i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
