Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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