Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Quick, to the slutcave!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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