Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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