Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
