so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I checked into jail on foursquare
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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