We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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