Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize