you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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