I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
my shit smells like andre
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
