YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
