OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
