If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
