if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
