Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
