You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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