Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it was like eating out sand paper
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
