I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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