Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
this boner is exhausting
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
