he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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