I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
