He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
