From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
