So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
