Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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