Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
