i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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