Jerry, you need to find god
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
