Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
