last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
