I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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