Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
