Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
