Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
