Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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