she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
