When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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