He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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