I should be sponsored by Trojan
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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