Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
