That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
