My nipple is on Facebook.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
