just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
