I wish I could teleport
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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