Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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